Routine enquiries

Most people have some sort of routine they follow before and after a race or sportive. I know this from a) talking to other riders and b) reading about routines on blogs and cycling forums.

Now the idea of a pre-event easy warm-up and a post-event leisurely series of stretches, warm bath, steak with pasta and a quick snooze on the couch in front of the telly sounds great, but in reality there are riders all over the world who could only follow this routine if they made some pretty serious lifestyle changes.

My typical pre/post ride routine for a day of racing or sportive action goes something like this:

- Wake up as the alarm goes off, having slept really, really badly (I think this might be pre-race nerves). Feel as though I only got to sleep 10 minutes ago. Sneak out of the bedroom, trying not to wake my wife up so she can at least get another 30 minutes of sleep.

- Get the kids up, washed and downstairs for breakfast. Breakfast service in the main kitchen at the Savoy is probably easier than in the Franzini household. There are only 3 children, but they all have the culinary demands of Michael Winner combined with Sally Albright (played by Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally). Orders come in for cereals at different times - Shreddies, Rice Crispies, Oatibix, Cheerios hidden under Shreddies (what?!) - along with toast, various spreads, eggs cooked in different ways and milk (heated, non-heated, slightly heated) whilst I peel and cut fruit. Spend at least 10 minutes encouraging everyone to eat their fruit before the myriad second courses that I am now rushing around to prepare. Suspect that some of the fruit is being surreptitiously 'droppped by accident' under the table.

- Rush upstairs and get cycling kit on, throw all the stuff laid out carefully the night before into a bag, think about showering and decide against it (to save time) and wash face/clean teeth. Wonder why I'm feeling a bit faint...

- Rush downstairs and make a coffee (large, strong). Search around for something decent to eat in the debris that is the remains of kids' breakfast service - end up settling for Shreddies hidden under Cheerios with slightly heated milk (even I'm at it now).

- Kiss the kids goodbye. Kiss wife (now awake with all the noise) goodbye. Explain about the pile of uneaten fruit on the kitchen floor under the table. Explain that, although I am leaving her with the kids for most of the day, I have at least tried to do as much as possible before heading out. Get a look that says "I do this every morning. It's no big deal".

- Head out to the race or sportive. I'm definitely quite relaxed about sportives now, and treat them as long club rides. Racing still gets the heart fluttering though. Especially road racing, which has a real buzz about it.

- Ride the event. Return home in a state of euphoria / exhilaration / exhaustion / despondency / self-loathing (choose at least two).

- Dump bags and bike in hallway. Down a half litre of Yazoo chocolate milkshake from the fridge (this definitely helps me avoid sore legs the next morning - I've discovered this by following totally unscientific methods).

- Shower (quickly). Change and go downstairs to search for some sort of food. Settle for a cheese sandwich with mango chutney. Try to ignore the kids' pleas to go to the park (for at least 10 minutes).

- Give in and take the kids to the park to either (a) play football (b) help them ride their bikes or (c) take part in running races. Run around feeling fit and healthy compared to a lot of the dads there, but suspect that my legs will give way at any moment. Feel constantly thirsty and finish the kids' water from their beakers.

- Return home in time for the kids' tea. Hover like a vulture whilst they eat, asking "don't you want that?" at two minute intervals to each of them in turn. Hoover up any leftovers.

- Then normal evening routine of getting the kids to bed, sorting out an evening meal with my wife, collapsing on the sofa for an hour, then bed and sweet dreams.

Sometimes I question all the effort involved in racing. The actual race is often the easiest thing!